I pointed out these top 10 habits that stop you from being happy so you can be more aware when you start acting in a negative way.
Our daily habits shape our personality, how we are and how we behave towards others. As time went on, I got the chance to come into contact with many different behaviours and habits that prevent people from being happy.
Eventually, you become what you do repeatedly. If you have habits that do not help, then it means they are dragging you down. Here are the top 10 habits that stop you from being happy, if you give them permission:
1. Focusing on the things around you and not looking inside
Avoid getting to the point where you get so caught up with other people’s success stories that you forget to create your own journey. Focus your attention on your path and learn from the events you go through. When you make the decision to walk your own path, you will see how interesting things begin to happen in your life. That means you refuse to let others think, speak and decide in your place. It means learning to use your own ideas and your own intuition when you go through life.
If you want to smile with your whole heart when you read your life’s story, then put aside those activities that take up most of your time and that help accomplish nothing, and choose to do only those things that make a difference. If you want to achieve a goal you have to dedicate time to it every day. If you really care about what you want to do and work diligently, every situation you encounter will help you learn something new.
2. Wait for the perfect moment
The ideal or perfect moment to do something does not exist. The events you’re going through are not perfect. You give them a meaning. There are people who prefer to wait for the right moment, an ideal opportunity, the perfect circumstance, to be able to give themselves permission to do what they want to do. Stop! These perfect situations are illusions of perfection. They simply do not exist.
Your ability to become the best version of yourself is linked directly with your desire to act in a positive way when you are dealing with imperfection. You succeed in what you do when you don’t wait for the perfect moment, but when you learn to skillfully notice and use the imperfect situations you encounter.
One of my favorite books that illustrates the concept above is “Robinson Crusoe”.
3. The work you do is just for money
When you work without being interested in what you do, you risk creating some thick walls around you. Even if you’re not passionate from the bottom of your heart, you should at least have some level of interest. Among the less happy situations is the one where you live your life by working in a place that causes you stress and suffering every day just to pay your bills. So you get to live a life you do not want, while you dream what it would have been if you had someone else’s life.
Think about the fact that the work you do occupies a significant percentage of your time. It’s not just about money but also about who you are. Ignore those people who say you shouldn’t let the work you do define who you are. Because there is a tendency that the environment you work in and the people with whom you interact, will influence the way you think and behave to a greater or lesser extent. Therefore, seek to work in a place you feel connected to. When a particular feature of your personality can be seen in the work you do, on the long-term this will create the following feeling: accomplishment.
When you’re interested in what you do, the quality of the results will be high, and you are also going to be happy while you’re doing it. Don’t just settle with a salary. Search again and again until you find something that resonates with the way you think and feel.
4. You strengthen the feeling of jealousy
When you reinforce and feel again and again negative feelings such as envy, there is a risk that eventually they may become a part of you. They will have control over how you feel and think. And after more time passes, you start to forget why you feel this way, where did it all start from and if it is directed towards someone or something. You might even get to the point where you’re just jealous for the sake of being jealous. And then, naturally, you may feel negative emotions about yourself.
All things and people for whom you have negative feelings such as envy, will occupy a space in your heart and mind. If you want to let go of a specific event or person, envy, hatred or other negative emotions will not help you to much. Instead of doing that, completely disconnect yourself from what happened, move forward and don’t look back.
5. You keep clinging to fears and worries
It is very likely that you will reach that moment in life when you will look back and notice that almost all the fears and concerns you had, never became a reality. That being said, what if you realize this right now? When you wait a minute and think about the last years of your life, how many opportunities you missed because of fears and concerns, situations in which you could have done better? Even if you can’t do much about the events that already happened, you can do a lot about what will happen.
So set aside your fears and worries, anger and envy, your need to always be in control or to always be right. Set aside the need for things to happen exactly as you want. Behind all these layers of needs and desires, I’m sure there is a person who is productive and happy. When you start to leave them aside and begin to cultivate a sense of gratitude for what you have in your life, the feeling of accomplishment will start to emerge.
6. You get stuck in difficult situations
When you had a hard day, realize that it was just that: a hard day. It makes no sense to turn it into something else. Going through difficult times will affect to some extent the conditions in which you live and work. That does not mean you should let these things affect you or distract you from the main thing you want to accomplish. When you encounter a difficult situation, try to adapt without amplifying the situation or letting it have a big influence in your life.
Every day we encounter lessons and opportunities that help us get to the next level on the path we choose to go on. You may come across very bad situations from which you simply cannot get out for the moment, but you always have a choice: what meaning do you choose to give the events you are going through and when is the moment to move on.
7. Looking for temporary moments of relief
There are two types of moments of relief in life: temporary and long term. When you are dealing with a temporary moment of satisfaction, it is usually due to a material comfort that you just got. Also, the feeling of satisfaction comes from long-term continuous cultivation of your mind. Perhaps initially it is difficult to tell the difference between the two, but over time you will notice that it becomes obvious that the second type is superior.
The feeling of contentment that appears in the long run(gratitude), will help you emotionally when you go through ups and downs, because you always have confidence and a quiet mind. Looking at it from the other point of view, when you come across events that turn your thoughts and feelings upside down, even the most elaborate plan to give you a sophisticated physical comfort, will not make you happier in the long run.
8. You want to change the world with a single step
If you want to do something that really make a difference in the world, the first step is to start with the world around you. From what I’ve seen, it is quite difficult to make a change in the world all of a sudden, and the process you’re going through trying to do this quickly can become very stressful. However, it is possible to make a big change in a short amount of time in the lives of a handful of people. You just have to focus on each person separately and you can start with the person closest to you.
If you focus your attention on doing a few steps well, you’ll start making some ripples that will spread naturally. For example, if you make a person smile, their smile might make other people smile. In this way, step by step, you can reach increasingly more people, without becoming something stressful for you.
9. You keep a person in your life who has bad intentions
There are moments in life when you have to leave some people behind, not because you don’t care, but because they don’t care. When someone hurts you again and again with their behavior, perhaps it is time to accept that the don’t care about you, as they prefer to think only of themselves when they’re doing something. Sometimes it’s hard to make such a decision, but necessary.
Among the best things you can do is to avoid to impress such individuals. Avoid wasting your time trying to prove something to them. You don’t need to prove anything. Remember what’s the most important thing to you and go in that direction. Don’t behave like they do.
10. You put too much emphasis on physical appearance
To feel proud when you have someone next to you that looks great on the outside, it’s like choosing your favorite food based on the color it has and not the taste. Makes sense? No. Those inner values, invisible things that can’t be quantified, are the ones that create long-term attraction.
A similar situation is where there are some people who are more attracted by the aroma of mint, while others prefer cinnamon or ginger. Like that invisible attraction to certain qualities people have or to certain places or things. Sometimes, even the scars that we gained from the events we went through with someone, are the elements that create those long lasting relationships that withstand the test of time.
I hope these 10 habits that stop you from being happy will help and guide you at least as much as they helped me.